Meanwhile in Northern Europe, Danish Prime Minister Mr. Blood-Axe has issued an edict forbidding males between 18 and 45 to shave and has instructed all army officers to "plat their beards, a bit like Gilmli [sic] at Helms Deep - which was so wicked".
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First, awesome sentiment :)
Second, wasn't the dwarf's name Gimli? :P
Great read!