Hair doubts

[celticdragonfly]

I am having some serious doubts about growing out my hair.

I've had friends do their best to convince me that I'd look better without the bangs. And I've been working to grow them out, training them to get combed back, and letting it all grow.

But at the moment - at the moment it just looks awful, it's at that growing out stage where it sticks out sideways over the ears, and I feel like it always looks dirty and awful even if I've just washed it.

And I look back at the haircut in this icon, and think about how good that looked, and how good it made me feel. And how little it took in work from me. And I miss it. And I'm tempted to cut it again...

I've been letting Maggie's grow, too. I see so many little girls out there with pretty long hair, and it looks so neat. Maggie's looks like a bird nest even if I've JUST brushed and combed it, and it's constantly in her eyes.

I could use encouragement. (It doesn't help that I'm needing to grab a headshot of me for something, and annoyingly the good ones are from right after that haircut, so don't look that much like me right now!)

Comments

[technomom]

I hate the growing out process. Doesn't everyone?

I cut my hair short a few years ago because I didn't have time to take care of it well, and then I went shorter because I really like it. I don't want to have to worry about my hair! Of course, as you know, that means more frequent trims, but it's less trouble than daily "doing the hair."

You have such a delicate face, and I love being able to see it, so I'm biased about short hair on you. I don't really know how your hair looks when it's longer, of course.

Maggie's hair looks very fine and thick, in photos. Katie's is like that. It was a constant struggle to keep barrettes or something in her hair to try to tame it, but it was very cute. It hasn't been cut significantly since she was a tiny thing, and you've seen how it is now. I still have a desire to clip it back whenever she just lets it be loose, though.

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

You have such a delicate face

Thank you. That's the argument used to convince me to get rid of the bangs

I don't really know how your hair looks when it's longer, of course.

There are very few pics of me in general, and even harder to find something with the hair. The most recent ones are of me heavily preggers or with a newborn, so that influences it, too.

Here's what I could find quickly:
http://www.kelthaven.org/baby/images/Dec03/2003-12-15c.jpg
http://www.kelthaven.org/baby/images/Dec03/2003-12-10a.jpg
http://www.kelthaven.org/baby/images/Dec03/25/2003-12-25j.jpg

The second doesn't show much hair but I include it because it's the only one with me in my standard everyday hairdo, which is to comb it and braid it in a single braid down my back, day in and day out.

[sambear.livejournal.com]

Let your hair grow! Don't you just love the sensual treat of running your hands through long hair? I do.

Anyway, let it grow out!

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I didn't usually get that sensual treat. Karl would, sometimes. I generally just had it braided up first thing in the morning after washing and then left that way.

If it's short, I get the sensual pleasure of getting Karl to scritch my head with abandon. If he does that with long hair, he creates gawful tangles.

[TMI warning]
When it was long Karl would sometimes get the treat of having me unbind it and brush it back and forth all over him.

[sambear.livejournal.com]

Hmm, perhaps you should "let your hair down" more often ;)

Bangs

[limejellogirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is hellish to grow them out, and while you look OK with them, I think you'd look fabulous without them. Your hair looks so thick, with the bangs you kind of lose your face in all that beautiful hair. Without the bangs, your hair would be more of a frame for your face.

Personally, I'm jealous. I have limp, straight, mouse-brown hair.

Re: Bangs

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

It's very thick. I've generally been far happier with my hair than my face. Although I think it's mouse-brown, myself.

It's not straight, it's wavy. Straight would be a LOT easier...

[archangelbeth]

Well, let hers grow in the name of experiment. O:> I mean, once it's out a bit it will lay flat, and otherwise? She's a kid. Hair does that on kids.

Yours -- do you want it longer? (Me, I hate how I look with short hair, so I don't get it cut at all if I can avoid it. And I can! I think it's been nearly a decade since my last haircut.) If you think you look better with it short, then why grow it long?

(It helps, mind, that my spouse likes me with long hair as well. O:> If yours likes long hair and you don't mind long hair, then that's one reason to persevere.)

Er, zat help?

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

Yes, hair does that on kids. But I also worry about am I falling into the sexist trap of letting the Girly stuff restrain the girl. For instance, little girl pants are cut so that they restrict movement - how much Maggie can run and play and climb in a pair of pants designed for girls is noticeably less than when I have her in boys sweatpants. I see baby girls with hoop earrings, and I know part of that trains them not to move their heads around a lot, because when they do they'll catch on things and HURT. Am I letting the desire to give her longer hair restrict what she can do? I worry about that.

As for myself, I really liked it short. But I had people whose opinions matter highly urging me to not have the bangs, and that means growing it out long, I can't see any other way to do it. Karl likes it long, and I'm generally willing to put up with it for him, as long as I can keep it braided every day. After Jamie, with postpartum troubles and such, it was breaking and in bad condition.

[archangelbeth]

I climbed trees and ran around all over the place with long hair. Put it back in a pony tail and I doubt it'll be a problem. (Or braids.)

Are girl-pants that troublesome? The Sears-brand ones we have don't seem to restrict our minx much -- heck, they're the only ones I've found that stay up on her skinny little hips. (Though we had to buy them in size 3 when she was 4; the age-4 ones tended to slide. At least they were long enough...)

I didn't even look at the other brands for pants, since we were trying to get winter-weight pants and I considered jeans to be A) too thin and B) too fond of snaps and zippers for a recently potty-trained kid.

I don't believe in piercing ears until the kid can care for them on her own. I got mine pierced at something like 13. Maybe 14. If the minx wants it when she's in the 10-13 range (or whatever), then we can do it. Till then, I'm not taking on the job of making sure the ears are healing well and not infected. (And studs for school-days, like as not. Hoops or danglies, meh.)

Hm. Depending on style, you might not have to have it with bangs. If it's all about the same length (maybe even a bit longer?), you can barrette it up to the side, no? (Okay, I have wavy hair, which actually grows out straight on top and only develops a wave lower down. What's in my LJ pic is with it pinned back... where's another pic... Ah!

http://www.io.com/~arcangel/Art/Photos/Wings.html .

*pauses and looks at last picture* *blink* Man, that's my mom's grin there.

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

I have found girl-pants to be awful. Ride too low on the hips, the crotch is too low therefore restricting upper leg movements, the ankles flare which mean they catch on things. Overall not designed for an active child. I'll go with boy sweatpants with elasticized cuffs all the time. Now and then I end up putting in her girl pants that relatives have sent her, and generally regret it.

[archangelbeth]

Huh! Seriously, check out Sears and head into the back area for their store-brand. You can tell when you find it because it's $5-$7 per pants instead of $12-$20+. Some have elastic at the bottom (which is a problem for my minx, 'cause it rides up and then sticks at her calves), some don't. No flaring at all at the base. Come up to her belly-button or maybe a little lower, but not low-slung at all. Elastic tops, not snap or zipper or anything

It may just be that the minx is skinny, but there seems to be great ability to do all kinds of things with her legs. (She goes to gym class in them, and I haven't heard any problems.)

And they're so much cheaper!!

[carbonelle.livejournal.com]

My BunnyBright's birds-nest hair doesn't phase me a bit (which is bizarre because I have a Huge Thing about hair, myself), nonetheless, if you don't mind a bit of bother, you can always use those little pony-tail holders to tuck the half-grown bangs up. I'll see about scanning in one of the rare pictures with BunnyBright's hair that way into the creche tonight if this description isn't clear.

Braids and pony-tails will take care of the rest (if you have the patience to deal with them until she's old enough to do it herself). I was a jock-grrl (an antisocial, introverted jockette, but hey) and never let hugely long hair get in the way of swim-team, judo, karate, etc.

And there are seriously cool things you can do with braids, once you master them.

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can do LOTS with braids. Once her hair is long enough, which it isn't. Not so great with midlength hairstyles, plus I know she will yank out the fasteners/barrettes.

[daveamongus.livejournal.com]

The other day, my wife encountered a woman and two small children, one of whom pointed at my dear wife and said, "Look Mom, it's Harry Potter!"

Needless to say, she's thinking about growing her hair back out.

I tried going back to a more "civilian" length after Iraq, but even at such a length my hair misbehaves like a five year old in the women's clothing section of Target, so I had it all cut off again.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Well, I bet you can guess what side of the argument I weigh in on.

(fluffs out hip length hair) Of course, I a) have been growing it for Quite Some Time b) am adept in the Mysteries of Braids c) don't have children yet d) have a husband who is very, very attached to my hair.

I started growing everything out after I (like archangel) realized that it makes my face look too full when short.

As far as Maggie's hair, once you can braid it/put it in a ponytail or even pigtails, it will NOT slow her down. Unless she falls in an (empty and cool) barbeque pit, gets soda all in her hair, and does not tell you until the next morning. Or Jamie decides to run a RC monster truck through her hair.

NOT like any of these have happened to anyone you might happen to know....

DV

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

(fluffs out hip length hair)

Oh yeah. I remember from ConDFW'04, you have amazing gorgeous hair. You and joyeuse13 both there at the party with amazing beautiful hair, and I'd just given up on mine for postpartum breaking and messiness and had gotten it chopped off for Locks of Love - except I hadn't had the really short cut yet, and it was at this awful inbetween length. I felt like some sort of deformed gnome creature.

Once I can braid Maggie's hair, it will be much easier. Although I'll have to teach her to sit still to have it braided. She's still some ways from having it long enough.

Have you heard Pouncer's story about his daughter and the round brush that got tangled in her hair? Makes me shudder.

[joyeuse13.livejournal.com]

I don't think you necessarily need to grow the rest of your hair long, just grow the bangs enough to sweep back, or part to the sides. You might consider asking a stylist what's the best way to go about it, but you certainly don't need long hair to go bang-less. :)

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

I've been sweeping back the bangs, but it always feels like they're about to fall in my face, and it looks messy. I figured when the bangs were long enough to get pulled into a ponytail or braid, then I'd really have them out of my face.

And then maybe it'll be time to get contacts, or try to anyway, Karl said we could look into getting the insurance for it next time. :-)

[limejellogirl.livejournal.com]

I usually throw my bangs (what's left of them) back in a barette on top of my head. The bonus is that it keeps the hair off my face when I'm working with the little ones.

Contacts and/or new frames made everyone I know feel like they had a complete makeover. Funny how the little things help so much. And I bet you have pretty eyes.

To get contacts cheaply, try your local Wal-Mart if you have one. The exam was $40 last time I went and the contacts were also only $40ish. And I have a pretty nasty prescription (too much reading I guess) so mine are usually in the $200 range.

Good luck!

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

Cheaply is part of the problem. Another is can I wear contacts at all - I really don't know if I could stick something into my eyes daily. I have a hard time with eyedrops. Another is that I don't know if my prescription CAN be made into contacts - I have the kind of prescription that the "Glasses in an Hour!" places tell me "come back in a week". And prism lenses.

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

If the prism correction is more than minimal, or if you've got substantial astigmatism, contacts may be a problem.

If the reason the "glasses in an hour" places make you wait is merely because of really extreme near/far sightedness, contacts aren't a problem.

And trust me, *everyone* who's never done contacts is leery of sticking things into their eyes. I have problems with eyedrops, too, even now, but I got used to putting in contacts pretty quickly. (It *is* both frustrating and nerve-wriacking for the first few days, I'll admit.)

And I have to admit that for all my "long hair advocacy", your very-short cut looked great.

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

I have substantial astigmatism AND prism correction. I don't know if it can be done.

Thanks for the compliment - I liked the very short cut, too. And it's possible that if I can't get contacts, I may go back to short with bangs. I think I'll look better without bangs IF I go into contacts - but with glasses, I don't think cutting out the bangs is that much of an advantage.