Sex-ed visiting instructors
Jan. 18th, 2004 06:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
celticdragonflyIt's been an interesting and unusual day.
Since we've moved out here, I've been wanting to do things to meet people, find communities, and find ways to belong to them - I don't want to stay as isolated as I was in LA, and I don't want to end up spending all my time alone in the house with 3 kids and getting terribly depressed.
One of the things I wanted to do was check out the local Unitarian church with a CUUPS (pagan) group. I'd checked out a couple UU churches in LA. The more interesting one with the CUUPS groups and good music was a long hard drive to get to. The closer one had no CUUPS group, no choir, and was getting TOO heavy on the super-left politics and guilt. Karl was not pleased.
But fortunately he was willing to try again here, and the closest UU church does have an active CUUPs group, and we'd even met somebody from it at the December Pagan Meetup. So we managed to drag everybody out of bed, and head off for their service this morning. (Getting all these kids ready to go is mindboggling, it is...) It was COLD and windy, I wondered if it was a bad idea.
But it worked out well. Maggie was happy to go play in the nursery. Brendan looked a little unsure about going with the 2nd grade kids group, but it seems to have worked out okay. A friendly greeter lady had helped me get the kids settled. We kept Jamie in the sling on me. (He was being admired and gooed at by many ladies. He slept through it. Even slept through getting his cheek pinched for the first time. Poor kid. Reminded me of Princess Bride.)
The service was okay. Karl was interested by it, and thought it was a good sign that the minister was talking about something Karl disagrees with him on, but not in a way that got Karl really annoyed. (I think that's what Karl meant. I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm misinterpreting him.) I think they need to find more singable songs, but it was pretty okay.
Afterwards we were talking to various people in the lobby, including the congregation president, and the lady we'd met at the Pagan Meetup. They're going to be starting Spiral Scouts stuff there next month, which we're really interested in for Brendan. Brendan had been brought out to us by the teacher, and I'd been about to send Karl off to change Jamie and get Maggie, but he'd been talking with a lady who was also from upstate NY and had recognized his accent (most people don't think he has one), and had brought over someone from the same town to chat with him. So I went off to the nursery with the baby. In midchange, a lady came into the nursery, and was asking if I knew what the OWL program was. (No, nothing from Harry Potter. UU sponsored sexuality education. Which had been mentioned to me by the greeter lady, which was all I knew about it.) Well, apparently they were going to be discussing pregnancy and parenthood with the middle school kids, and their expectant mother guest had not been able to make it. And how old was my baby, and would I be willing to come be their speaker?
Well, this was too cool an opportunity to pass up. I found out that they were keeping the nursery open, and Maggie and Brendan could stay there, and they'd be watching a kids movie. And they wanted Karl, too, so they could have questions for both parents. We jumped for it. Jamie had slept through the service, but was now waking up, so I nursed him while waiting for them, and the kids got to come in as we were doing a diaper change, there's an example for you. (We did 3 during the discussion, as it happened, and he kept nursing between them.) We answered questions, some that they had as sample suggested questions, and some of their own. We got to talk about pregnancy, physical and emotional changes, preparing for birth, the exciting moments of pregnancy and parenthood, the heavy responsibilities and life changes of parenthood, etc. I got to talk about home birth and midwives, and found out many of the kids didn't know what a midwife WAS. Wow, I'm glad I got to explain that. (And usefully, the minister had talked during the sermon about how hard it can be to just listen to someone's troubles/pain, and sometimes the only thing you can do is be there, and do nothing - which was a useful comparison to talk about how often midwives need to do nothing, and they're way better at that than doctors.)
It was very interesting for us all around. We were there until their break, after which the kids were going to watch a Nova video. Several of the girls followed me to the nursery at the break, to see the other kids, and got to meet Maggie, and talk more about babies with me. The teacher had to come herd them back to the classroom for the video. I told them I'd be happy to talk to them more other times, whenever they had questions. One girl just LOVED Jamie, held him twice, and wants to come visit us sometime.
I think we'll be going back. As we left Brendan was asking what this church was called, and announcing he liked it and wanted to come back. He was very well behaved there.
By the time we left it was 2 pm, and we were hungry, so we hit Bennigan's on the way home for lunch. Ended up in a large booth, first time we've had Maggie in a booster seat instead of a highchair. Both kids were well behaved, Brendan especially so.
It's late enough that we're not getting much else done today, but that's okay.
Since we've moved out here, I've been wanting to do things to meet people, find communities, and find ways to belong to them - I don't want to stay as isolated as I was in LA, and I don't want to end up spending all my time alone in the house with 3 kids and getting terribly depressed.
One of the things I wanted to do was check out the local Unitarian church with a CUUPS (pagan) group. I'd checked out a couple UU churches in LA. The more interesting one with the CUUPS groups and good music was a long hard drive to get to. The closer one had no CUUPS group, no choir, and was getting TOO heavy on the super-left politics and guilt. Karl was not pleased.
But fortunately he was willing to try again here, and the closest UU church does have an active CUUPs group, and we'd even met somebody from it at the December Pagan Meetup. So we managed to drag everybody out of bed, and head off for their service this morning. (Getting all these kids ready to go is mindboggling, it is...) It was COLD and windy, I wondered if it was a bad idea.
But it worked out well. Maggie was happy to go play in the nursery. Brendan looked a little unsure about going with the 2nd grade kids group, but it seems to have worked out okay. A friendly greeter lady had helped me get the kids settled. We kept Jamie in the sling on me. (He was being admired and gooed at by many ladies. He slept through it. Even slept through getting his cheek pinched for the first time. Poor kid. Reminded me of Princess Bride.)
The service was okay. Karl was interested by it, and thought it was a good sign that the minister was talking about something Karl disagrees with him on, but not in a way that got Karl really annoyed. (I think that's what Karl meant. I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm misinterpreting him.) I think they need to find more singable songs, but it was pretty okay.
Afterwards we were talking to various people in the lobby, including the congregation president, and the lady we'd met at the Pagan Meetup. They're going to be starting Spiral Scouts stuff there next month, which we're really interested in for Brendan. Brendan had been brought out to us by the teacher, and I'd been about to send Karl off to change Jamie and get Maggie, but he'd been talking with a lady who was also from upstate NY and had recognized his accent (most people don't think he has one), and had brought over someone from the same town to chat with him. So I went off to the nursery with the baby. In midchange, a lady came into the nursery, and was asking if I knew what the OWL program was. (No, nothing from Harry Potter. UU sponsored sexuality education. Which had been mentioned to me by the greeter lady, which was all I knew about it.) Well, apparently they were going to be discussing pregnancy and parenthood with the middle school kids, and their expectant mother guest had not been able to make it. And how old was my baby, and would I be willing to come be their speaker?
Well, this was too cool an opportunity to pass up. I found out that they were keeping the nursery open, and Maggie and Brendan could stay there, and they'd be watching a kids movie. And they wanted Karl, too, so they could have questions for both parents. We jumped for it. Jamie had slept through the service, but was now waking up, so I nursed him while waiting for them, and the kids got to come in as we were doing a diaper change, there's an example for you. (We did 3 during the discussion, as it happened, and he kept nursing between them.) We answered questions, some that they had as sample suggested questions, and some of their own. We got to talk about pregnancy, physical and emotional changes, preparing for birth, the exciting moments of pregnancy and parenthood, the heavy responsibilities and life changes of parenthood, etc. I got to talk about home birth and midwives, and found out many of the kids didn't know what a midwife WAS. Wow, I'm glad I got to explain that. (And usefully, the minister had talked during the sermon about how hard it can be to just listen to someone's troubles/pain, and sometimes the only thing you can do is be there, and do nothing - which was a useful comparison to talk about how often midwives need to do nothing, and they're way better at that than doctors.)
It was very interesting for us all around. We were there until their break, after which the kids were going to watch a Nova video. Several of the girls followed me to the nursery at the break, to see the other kids, and got to meet Maggie, and talk more about babies with me. The teacher had to come herd them back to the classroom for the video. I told them I'd be happy to talk to them more other times, whenever they had questions. One girl just LOVED Jamie, held him twice, and wants to come visit us sometime.
I think we'll be going back. As we left Brendan was asking what this church was called, and announcing he liked it and wanted to come back. He was very well behaved there.
By the time we left it was 2 pm, and we were hungry, so we hit Bennigan's on the way home for lunch. Ended up in a large booth, first time we've had Maggie in a booster seat instead of a highchair. Both kids were well behaved, Brendan especially so.
It's late enough that we're not getting much else done today, but that's okay.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-19 09:17 am (UTC)Yes, that's what I meant.
As for the rest--the more I think about it the more I think teenage boys and girls should get their sex ed separately. And those boys need somebody who'll make them behave. Chatting with them afterwards they were nice kids, but they're going to run wild without any limits.
This attitude may bring me dangerously close to becoming a youth instructor, which would be shortly followed by being burnt as a heretic ...
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-19 09:31 am (UTC)I think they may need some of the sex ed gender segregated, but not all of it. At least, those girls need to see the boys' reaction of going to the far side of the room, and realize that the guys are NOT going to be as baby-enthused as some of them are.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-19 01:31 pm (UTC)And yes, I think *some* coed sex-ed is a good thing, but that a great deal of it ought to be single-sex. If for no other reasons than a) differing approaches/reaction to discipline (as Karl noted) and b) the gendered differences in strength of "cluebrick" needed for various sex-based topics at that age. (The level of cluebrick needed to get boys to *notice* certain topics is enough to completely turn girls off sex for life, and to some extent vice-versa.)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-19 01:49 pm (UTC)"Some people are just plain evil, and ain't nothing to do for it 'cept killing 'em." "A good slap on the head and that boy'll be a model of good behavior." "Can the Republican party rent out the hall for a fundraiser?" Any one of those would probably get somebody bounced out or at least cut dead for all eternity. Not that I'd be saying anything that extreme, but I'd probably annoy some people.
As for the different size cluebricks . . . part of the problem is you've got very conflicting lesson goals. The girls need to learn "how to avoid becoming a victim" and the boys need to learn "how to avoid becoming a predator". I think that class was doing a good job on the first one, but any boy lighting fires in class is on a path toward being a barbarian.
Hereticisms.....
Date: 2004-01-19 03:28 pm (UTC)Re: Hereticisms.....
Date: 2004-01-19 04:56 pm (UTC)Sure, have Karl be an instructor to the middle school aged boys for now. But in a few years, say when Maggie's about Brendan's age, have him start as instructor for the kids a year or two older than her. And let him follow that age group up.
Yep. Let all those boys learn that he's fair, but tough, and doesn't take crap from anybody. BEFORE Maggie starts dating any of them.
Heh.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-01-19 04:38 pm (UTC)