AP or not AP

[celticdragonfly]

So there was a post on the Kith and Kin group talking about AP parenting. I chimed in with a yes. But now I'm thinking over it and feeling guilty. I don't think I really do "babywearing" as the AP crowd means it. I think they mean the baby in a sling all the time. And I just can't do it. I wear Jamie in a sling when we're out and about pretty frequently. But I can't do it all day, particularly not when I have to carry Maggie sometimes, changing her or feeding her and such. I have just too much back pain, I can't have him in the sling all day, and especially not when carrying other loads or needing to bend over. I have Jamie in my arms or in my lap a LOT of the time, but I can't always do it. So he ends up in his swing, or moses basket, or the little rocker/bouncer. A lot of the time he seems perfectly happy that way, but then sometimes I'll have to change Maggie and change the table cover and then grab her some food or something, and he'll start fussing - and I try to get to him as fast as I can, but I feel so guilty that I'm having to let him fuss until I get there.

I hope he grows to know how much I love him. And I hope Maggie eventually gets over the combination of the terrible twos [1] and "I resent Mama for having that other baby and being sick and not paying enough attention to me", and decides she loves me again, as well as Daddy.

Well, I nurse him, and he sleeps with me, and I do my very best.

[1] Yeah, she's 19 months. What can I say, she had to be advanced in something.

Comments

[archangelbeth]

Attached Parenting? Right. I recently read an article about how even Dr. Sears doesn't mean the extremists in that position. (The mom in that was doing AP -- by not babywearing her independent and active and "wanna be moving myself!" kid. But feeling guilty about it.)

So you're doing it. No, you're not doing it all the time -- you can't! You have two kids! Braining one with the other because the sling slips isn't AP, right?

It's not binary, anyway. AP means paying attention to the kid (which you are clearly doing), and meeting as many needs as possible, where possible means realistically possible with another kid and doing things and your back hurting and stuff.

He'll be fine.

(Mine was in a sling a lot, but, er, I mostly carried her around and set her down when I needed to do stuff, because she was so little that I couldn't keep her in the sling because her head would tip down -- and as a preemie, she didn't have the little roll of fat to keep from choking herself when she did that, so I was paranoid.)