AP or not AP

[celticdragonfly]

So there was a post on the Kith and Kin group talking about AP parenting. I chimed in with a yes. But now I'm thinking over it and feeling guilty. I don't think I really do "babywearing" as the AP crowd means it. I think they mean the baby in a sling all the time. And I just can't do it. I wear Jamie in a sling when we're out and about pretty frequently. But I can't do it all day, particularly not when I have to carry Maggie sometimes, changing her or feeding her and such. I have just too much back pain, I can't have him in the sling all day, and especially not when carrying other loads or needing to bend over. I have Jamie in my arms or in my lap a LOT of the time, but I can't always do it. So he ends up in his swing, or moses basket, or the little rocker/bouncer. A lot of the time he seems perfectly happy that way, but then sometimes I'll have to change Maggie and change the table cover and then grab her some food or something, and he'll start fussing - and I try to get to him as fast as I can, but I feel so guilty that I'm having to let him fuss until I get there.

I hope he grows to know how much I love him. And I hope Maggie eventually gets over the combination of the terrible twos [1] and "I resent Mama for having that other baby and being sick and not paying enough attention to me", and decides she loves me again, as well as Daddy.

Well, I nurse him, and he sleeps with me, and I do my very best.

[1] Yeah, she's 19 months. What can I say, she had to be advanced in something.

Comments

[spinfrog.livejournal.com]

You are most definately doing AP! Everyone has to put the kids down sometimes! My daughter absolutely hated the sling so I was just carrying her on my hip while doing stuff around the house but if she fell asleep I often put her down. I think it's more your mindset/intent - like, knowing that it is better for the kids to be held/touched than for them to be left by themselves...

The terrible twos!!! My daughter turned two in october! She wants to get her way every time! She wil yell at me and try to hit me or headbutt me! Then she'll cry! And she is becoming so good at climbing shelves and reaching ALL my highest hiding places :( maybe I'll get a safe for my more pricey stuff!!!

[celticdragonfly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree on the mindset. It's just there's only so much I can do. Trouble is, I feel like I OUGHT to be able to do more.

The terrible two's - I frequently remind myself "she needs to differentiate herself from me, she's growing and maturing, it's an important mental development stage..."

Maggie's getting much better at climbing, too. Terrifying.